« être pauvre est un état d'esprit »

10:18 PM 4/12/06 « L'arrêt les appelant vos fusils ! »
I was ready this book called, how to change anyone. It's about getting people to treat you better by being nice and practicing reverse psychology. Occasionally the book suggests fighting fire with lighter fluid. Like, one of the techniques is using passive aggressive behavior, for example.So I was making garlic bread tonight with this big giant tupperware container. I would put some oil in it and mix it with sea salt and garil powder. Then I would dip one side of the bread and stick it in the oven. It just struck me as funny putting the empty tupperware container in the frig because it is a planned attack of passive aggression. It's funny because it's so ridiculously stupid and harmless. It's even funnier somehow how planning it, to me, seems absurd. I also put my shoes and socks on the floor right in the middle of the kitchen.Doug [my roommate, if you haven't read that far into my journal(shame on you if that's the case)] does that kind of passive aggressive nonsense all day every day. It [fighting fire with lighter fluid] isn't an act of revenge as much as it is an amusing mental exercise. It's like consciously playing the role of someone's unconscious mind. It becomes a new matter of perspective, and hence, equilibrium.I'm just bringing some of the stuff from the back to the front of my head.

It's boring, but it's my life.Oh, and then later on I had set the alarm for my sound therapy session and I decided to go sleep outside and forgot that it would go off and Doug would have to go into the next room and shut it off.I thought of it a few minutes before it went off, but I was too cozy on the picnic table. (=

So, I've made my peace with Richard. I weighed the options of becoming his friend or killing him, and decided being his friend wouldn't be so bad. I discovered that he thinks I used to work in an institution and I locked people away. And, since he was thrown in an institution for 37 years..that's why he treated me so poorly and felt animosity towards me. "I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation for what was going on"..And it turns out the genius doctors told him to drink milk for his emphysema and acid reflux. Milk, yes, which messes up your blood's pH and turns directly into mucus. Richard seemed grateful that soemone was honest with him about his physical ailments. It's also nice to have someone to listen to your problems once in a while.I assured Richard that I've never locked anyone away or been locked away. I've been through other bad stuff, but not jail or a mental institution. He said someone tried to kill him as a baby and then he had a nervous breakdown at about age 22. He's just happy to have an apartment and a couple dogs..I feel bad that our negative emotions ever had to mingle and clash. Amazing how that can happen with those we can learn from the most.

Jesus didn't teach about being nice to the lowliest people because it's moral. He said it because it's practical. Most of what he talked about was that way. He just wanted unconscious people to have the freedom to be conscious. God becoming man is a metaphor for man becoming conscious. His death represents the harsh transition due to nature's resistance to change.Back to the book I was reading--How to Change Anyone: It's a book that blew me away totally. I understand every word of what he's saying because I see people actions and motives clearly every day. But knowing psychology eventually must involve action applications of tools and techniques. Otherwise you end up theorizing about nothing and affecting the world only in as much as you stay the same.If you think about it, conflict is usually a call to change something that is wrong. You get a cold because your body is cleansing itself. Someone says something to you you don't like and it's really some kind of cry for help. You have a nightmare but it's really just a mental warning or a physiological disturbance or both. Or a nightmare could represent fearing change itself.

I don't pretend to have all the answers..but lately I am able to visualize my emotions and words and understand people more clearly and openly. I can thank my sound therapy and the love I feel from my friends and family. It's all going to come together and form this really beautiful many dimensional puzzle soon, and I am going to be clear minded enough to see it. Emotions are the source of life. To rid ourselves of negative emotions we must embrace them and ourselves and face the crystal clarity of reality. Only when we do this can they dissolve and become one with our energy patterns in a useful way. One day I will write a book (as Lyndy suggested) about everything that's ever helped me.Until then I'm just gonna continue to walk thru mountains, drink tea, listen to music that enriches my spirit. I may dabble in mysogeny, I haven't decided yet. What's that? a joke Grenade......................? Study everything, because in anything you can find the answer..Breathe thru your left nostril and consult your right brain when you need help..Your right brain is the source of all knowledge that comnes into your senses..Imagine electricity flowing in through the negative terminal of a battery. And it flows out of you through the postiviely charged, reasoning left brain. Into you body your energy flows in through your left hand and out of your right hand. You see now why the right brain controls the left side and vice versa. Our bodies run on electromagnetic energy. We are affected by noise, sound, radar, microwaves, televisions. There are devices that mimic the earth's EMF (8 Hz) and make you immune to all electrical devices that would disturb your body's natural balance. Superlearning 2000..Read it. You make it in the 21st century without it for much longer.